Core exercise · 3 of 12
Chill
Yes / no, once a day
"Take a deep breath. Slow down."
My friend and I were sitting on the rocks by the sea, watching the last few orange rays left over from a sun that had long since dropped below the horizon. "I used to be able to sit and read a book for hours, you know," my friend said. The revolt in that voice was a sign of more grievances to come. A small pebble, picked up from nearby, went flying into the waves that were washing the rocks in foam. Then, turning to me: "Do you know Johann Hari?" I didn't back then; I shook my head. "He had a line, something like 'I tried to live this life, but I got distracted.' It describes me exactly." I liked the line so much that the next morning, first thing, I went and bought the author's book, "Stolen Focus", and read it. Did my life change? No. But at least I can say I've met the enemy. As a passive-aggressive rebellion against all the rushing about, the projects, the things that have to be done by yesterday, I started whispering to myself in a few languages, "Sakin ol. Tranquilo. Chill," talking myself into "Calm down." However mad or ugly the situation of the moment, putting the brakes on a bit, letting the engine cool a bit, helped me bring it back into balance, into a healthier state of mind. You didn't hear this from me, but if you breathe in deeply and then breathe out twice as slowly as you breathed in, you can bend time as well. Yes, but keep this between us! The more you slow down, the more time lengthens, stretches, slows.
"I am safe."
In a scenario from tens of thousands of years ago, I would have suspected a tiger behind the bushes and felt anxious for half an hour. I notice that I now feel that same anxiety all day long: while running from one meeting to the next, or while preparing for a client call that is still hours away. This Homo sapiens brain of mine, which hasn't managed to keep up with the new age, sadly cannot tell the anxiety a tiger causes from the anxiety professional life causes. Whenever I catch myself in this kind of anxiety, I take a deep breath straight away and start bending time. Whispering "I am safe. Calm. Nothing is more important than my health. Calm down." at least once, I send my nervous system the message that I am safe. After all, I don't recall a single job interview where the HR person growled at me, bared their teeth and bit my arm off. Well, if it did happen, it was once or twice at most.
Research
Research: Chill
Slow breathing, the long exhale, and why a brain built for tigers misfires on meetings.
These notes are a starting point for the author's own reading; nothing here is medical advice.
The breath is the best-studied part of the whole set. A systematic review of slow breathing (around six breaths a minute) found consistent increases in heart-rate variability and reports of calm and lower anxiety (Zaccaro and colleagues 2018). The "respiratory vagal stimulation" model explains why the long exhale matters: breathing out slows the heart through the vagus nerve, so lengthening the out-breath, as the exercise says, leans on the body's own brake (Gerritsen and Band 2018). A randomised trial of five minutes a day found that a breathing practice built on long exhales improved mood and lowered the resting breathing rate more than an equal dose of mindfulness meditation (Balban and colleagues 2023). The "tiger behind the bushes" is the standard account of why a stress system built for short physical threats misfires on long social ones; Sapolsky (2004) tells it at book length. The book the friend mentions is Johann Hari's Stolen Focus (2022).
References
- Zaccaro, A., and colleagues (2018). How breath-control can change your life: A systematic review on psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience.
- Gerritsen, R. J. S., and Band, G. P. H. (2018). Breath of life: The respiratory vagal stimulation model of contemplative activity. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience.
- Balban, M. Y., and colleagues (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine.
- Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers (third edition). Henry Holt.
- Hari, J. (2022). Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention. Bloomsbury.
Notes last touched October 16, 2026